Confession of a Murderer by Joseph Roth

Author:Joseph Roth [ROTH, JOSEPH]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC019000/FIC040000
ISBN: 9781590209349
Publisher: The Overlook Press
Published: 2011-12-01T05:00:00+00:00

There lived in Petersburg at that time a certain police informer by the name of Leibusch. He was a tiny little man, scarcely four foot in height, not even a dwarf, but the shadow of a dwarf. He was a highly valued ally of those in our profession. I myself had only seen him once or twice, and then only for a few seconds. But to tell the truth, although I had, as they say, been washed by many waters, I was more than a little afraid of him. There were many unscrupulous blackguards and traitors in our company, but none smarter or more unscrupulous than he. For example, at a moment’s notice he could produce proof that a confirmed criminal was as innocent as a lamb and that an innocent man had prepared a plot to assassinate the Czar. But I, although I had already sunk so low, still cherished the conviction that I did not do evil from innate wickedness but because fate had condemned me to it. Incredible as it may seem, I still considered myself a “good man.” I at least was still conscious that I acted evilly and that I must therefore justify myself to myself. Vileness had been forced upon me. My name was Golubchik. Every right which I had, from my birth onwards, had been taken away from me. At that time, my misfortune seemed, in my eyes, a totally undeserved disaster. To a certain extent, therefore, I had a fully documented right to be evil. But the others, who practiced evil upon me, had certainly no such right.

Well, I sought out our informer, Leibusch. In the first moment, when I stood before him, I was suddenly conscious of the terrible thing I was proposing to do. His yellowish skin, his red-rimmed eyes, his great pock-marks, his tiny inhuman figure almost shook my firm belief that I was a judge and an instrument of justice. Several times I hesitated before bringing myself to broach the purpose of my visit.

“Leibusch,” I said, “here is a chance for you to prove your ability.” We were in the anteroom of our chief, sitting side by side on a bright green plush sofa, and it seemed to me as though it were already the dock; yes, I was sitting in the dock at the very hour when I had taken it upon myself to judge and to condemn.

“What more do you want me to prove?” said the little man. “I’ve proved enough already!”

“I need,” I said, “material against a certain person.”

“Someone important?”

“Of course.”

“Who is it?”

“The young Krapotkin.”

“Not difficult,” said the little man. “Not at all difficult!”

How easy it was! The little man was in no way astonished that I needed material against Krapotkin. So they had long been collecting material against him! I almost thought myself magnanimous for not having known that before. What I intended was hardly a base piece of treachery, it was almost an honorable duty.

“When?” I asked.

“Tomorrow, at the same time,” said the little man.

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